"Bonsai to you Gaijin"

It started out like a fun night. Dinner with friend at Benihana's. That is until moments after our chef's demonstration with his fork and spatula. After tapping out a pathetic drum solo on the edge of the cooking grill he spontaneously placed both of his tools into one hand and playfully offered them to "Chaos" in an attempt to engage the "Urban Terrorist" leader. Sensing pending doom, I ordered as many drinks as the waitress could carry. Unbeknownst to our hapless chef, Chaos exhibited the speed of a Samurai and grabbed the fork swinging his arm backwards playfully....loosing his grip and inadvertently sending the fork on a ballistic arc towards the table behind us. I closed my eyes as my ears flooded with the piercing scream of the chef aft of our table.  Slowly, acting as if I did not the assailant next to me, I turned in time to see the poor man fall forward and sear the left side of face just inches from a diners Yakisobe vegetables. The waiters quickly pulled him from further danger and applied a slab of Tuna to the reddened cheek as they lay him across his server cart, wheeling him towards a back room. Now, in his element, Chaos began to elevate the terror threat level towards Crimson, a new color added by the CIA, FBI, TSA, NSA, MADD and local Hells Angels affiliates....all in response to his prior attacks. Our chef began to studiously cook the meals ordered from the assembled patrons. Now fearing the "creature" sitting across the grill from him he attempted to apply his trade while cautiously watching each and every move being made by the person to his right. Nervously, he started with fried rice, an appetizer that was a little less appetizing now that blood had been shed. He attempted to distract us with tricks by using eggs, but alas he failed.....his hands shaking so badly he inadvertently scrambled the eggs in their respective shells. He stirred and he fried and we each had our portion, although due to his apprehension there was fried rice everywhere. Seeing the fear in their chef, the manager brought over a large shot of Sake, and a small carafe to leave at the table for use as needed. He managed to get the orders right and on the correct plates and also worked his way through 4 more carafes of Sake, but was able to escape injury at the hands of Chaos. Finishing his meal, Chaos slipped the grip of his captors and began to cut a swath of terror through what was formerly known as "Benihana's of Burlingame." Much like a "Looney Tunes" cartoon, we could see where he was, but were not able to see him. People were falling and dishes were flying thru the air....occasionally somebody would spit out their drink much like Moe of the "Three Stooges." I have been at both ends of every cuss word known to man, but never in Japanese, apparently they have 3-4 times the number of profane words as the English language. We tried to pay for the meal and damages but were spurned by a little lady in a Kimono who continually slapped at me with a spatula while screaming "BONSAI."